Injustice

Last night as I sat at the communal dining room table with Tom and Vanessa, two other people that live on the compound with me, we watched the dining room light flicker incessantly, on and then off…on, off, on….off; the result a nauseating strobe light effect. An image formed in my mind of President Museveni sitting in a large, overstuffed chair in his well-lit home flipping on and off a light switch labeled “Northern Uganda” while puffing on a cigar. All the while I imagine him getting complete joy and entertainment out of this game. This image is representative of how I feel the president is running the country. It’s a dictatorship masked by the title “democracy.” This dictatorship is complete with ongoing marginalization of the entire Northern Region.

When elected president, Museveni declared, “The problems of Africa, and Uganda in particular, are caused by leaders who overstay in power, which breeds impunity, corruption and promotes patronage. How can someone stay in Power for over 10 years?!” This same man has now been president for 27 years and counting. Some democracy, eh? In addition, while President Museveni has been in office there have been continual allegations of corruption. In 2003 there was an investigation of “ghost soldiers” on the army of Uganda’s payroll. Estimates suggested there was a total of 29,000 ghost soldiers on the payroll of the Ugandan Army. Also, past investigations have found the purchase of air, junk helicopters and defunct bullets with the defense budget. Between 2004 and 2007 over 54 million dollars was spent to renovate the State House where the president lives to expand it from 1,584 square meters to 17,472 square meters. In June 2011 the office of the British Prime Minister allegedly accused Pres. Museveni of misusing 30 million pounds worth of British poverty eradication and development aid money to buy himself a GULF STREAM JET! These are only a few examples of his horrible job as president and an empathetic human being.

It’s disgusting when any leader behaves this way, but what makes it even worse is the state that Uganda is in. Uganda is among the forty eight countries ranked by the United Nations as one of the poorest least developed countries of 2012. As of 2009 38% of the country lives on 1ess than $1.25 a day. The majority of impoverished people live in the marginalized North and East Regions. A 2008 study showed that only 27% of the South and West Regions combined were living in poverty, whereas 63% of the North was and 46% of the East was. Often times when there’s a scandal of aid money being stolen it’s aid money that is to help the development in the North. You don’t often hear about aid money for the South disappearing.

It is so strange and foreign to me to have to worry about the power going out on such a regular basis and for such a long period of time. When I think, “Oh, I’ll just pack in the morning,” or “I’ll take a shower later…” It’s usually followed by, “Eh, better do it now in case it rains and there’s no power.” What’s even stranger to me is that there are sooooo many people in the world that have no idea that people are living this way with power going in and out, water coming and going. Of course there are also the many people who live in the villages that don’t have either and have to use candles and flashlights, and fetch their water.

I’m extremely humbled by this experience and I truly wish every single person in the world could experience this way of life at least for a short period of time. I say “this way of life” as if they had a choice. That’s the worst part about it; they don’t have to live this way, but are being forced to because the government is spending all the money that’s supposed to be used to develop the North. It’s infuriating, not because I have to deal with it for three months, but because I know these people wouldn't be living with such poor conditions if they had a real leader that genuinely cared about their well-being. Being here has really shined light on the injustices in the world.

The adjustments continue...

Hey out there. I hope everyone is well. I'm adjusting a bit better now which is nice; however, life continues to be much harder here than anywhere else I've been or lived. First I want to show you some pictures of the place I'm now living.

 View from my porch

 Living room

 Front door

 Bedroom

 Porch

 My kitchen that's connected to my porch

 My bathroom - shower

My "toilet"

Lovely pad, eh? Like I said...adjustments. But it's not too bad. I'm glad to have some of my own space and that people who live in my compound continue to be very kind. For example, yesterday, I went to a house party with them because the Scottish guy, Chris, leaves soon. There was tons of food and drinks! There were sausages, goat, cabbage, cassava chips that tasted like french fries! It was great...until I fainted to the ground twice in front of e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e....30+ people. TWICE! Luckily there were a lot of Ugandan doctors and medical students there that were very helpful. We chalked it up to dehydration which I think is completely accurate. When someone gave me some water I immediately felt better. Then I thought about it and I hadn't had any water to drink since I left West Nile on Thursday...it was now Saturday night. That combined with hot weather and drinking alcohol...not a smart mix. For those of you that know me fairly well, you know that I really don't drink much water and I have to consciously remind myself to keep drinking it. Lesson learned...hopefully. It's so strange because my body gives me no other warning signs. I didn't have a headache, didn't feel tired or weak, didn't feel dizzy. I was seriously mid-sentence with someone and ...bam! out! I didn't even know what happened until I woke up with everyone surrounding me yelling at me to wake up. Me being me, I tried to shrug it off and insist that I was fine. I stood up for about 2.5 seconds until...bam! out again! lol They got me a chair and some water and then I was finally okay. Ugh. At least I've learned to move past embarrassing moments that I somehow continue to inflict on myself. Sigh.

So, West Nile. I went there last Sunday through Thursday for work. I'm really grateful that I have an opportunity to see so many part of Uganda with my work. West Nile is located in the Northwest region. It's called West Nile as it's West of the Nile, go figure. More specifically, we stayed in Arua and then drove to Ombaci and Lokodi to interview victims from a massacre in 1981. On the way we passed over the Nile river where I saw antelope, boars, and elephants!! 

 Elephants on the way to West Nile

I have a strange relationship with time here. Most of the time I feel like it crawlssss by, but at the same time, I think it's a bit strange that I've already been here a month. I think it helps to have certain things to look forward to like the field trips for work. I have another one coming up the week after next. We're going to Kitgum again for an entire week. Also, I think I may be going to Murchison Falls this weekend and possibly Kidepo National Park the weekend after I get back from Kitgum...and then July will be half over! Murchison Falls has a bunch of animals as does Kidepo, but Kidepo is widely known for the lions that hang out in the trees so that would be awesome to do! Luckily there are some pretty cool things to do to help me pass the time.

On a side-note a bit off topic, if anyone is looking for a good read, I highly recommend Waiting to be Heard by Amanda Knox. It's the memoir of Amanda Knox, the American girl that was wrongly convicted in Perugia for murdering her British roommate. I hadn't followed the case or trial very closely when it was happening, but I remember thinking she was guilty. I remember my Mom continually voicing strong doubts that she was guilty. The verdict ended up being overturned in the appeals court and after reading this book I have absolutely no doubts that she was innocent. Yes, I understand that she's bias...obviously; however, it's not her as a person or writer that I find convincing, it's the clear evidence that she was nowhere near the crime scene when the murder occurred. The biggest reason I recommend this book is it really shows just how unjust a supposedly just system is supposed to be. It's kind of scary. I just think it's good to be somewhat knowledgeable about especially since so many of us (in my cohort) are out traveling different countries. Just a recommendation.

Miss and love everyone!!!

Kitgum, Arua Falls and new pad!

Hey there! So, the update...I've moved into my new place and it's working out sooooo much better for me! No mice in my room, hardly any bugs and wayyy less mosquitoes. It's so nice to be able to make my own food too! Thus far I've made an omelette with tomatoes and bell peppers with avocado, toast and oj! Then the other night I made homemade pasta sauce (which came out really good!) with bow tie pasta and wine. I also bought some muesli and milk for breakfast. I like the local food, but I also like the food I'm used to. :0) One thing I love is how cheap everything at the market is...especially healthy food! I got 9 tomatoes, 2 huge avocados, 3 mangoes, 3 bananas, an onion and a head of garlic all for 8,000 shillings which is less than $4! The mangoes and avocados are my favorite. They taste wayyyy better than anywhere I've had them in the U.S., and so cheap! The mangoes were 200 shillings, less than 10 cents each!

In addition to making my own food and trying to eat a bit less of the greasy, fried food, I started yoga. There's a place right by my office that has classes everyday at 6pm which is perfect for right after work. I've only done it two days so far and I'm so sore! It's been a while since I had some good physical activity (besides walking all over town). It was much needed! My body feels so much better! I'm going to try to go every day after work. So far, so good. A cool thing about yoga here is it's cheap, 5,000 shillings a class (less than $2.50) and it's free on Saturdays. Also, so far it's only been me and one other person so it's almost like a 1-1 session! I really appreciate how universal yoga is and that it's really the same anywhere you go. I remember in one of my classes that was attempting to prepare us for our internships abroad someone mentioned the importance of having at least one thing in your day be a constant, like tea in the morning, or meditating at night, etc. I think yoga is this for me. I can depend on it daily and I love that a yoga teacher in Uganda does the Warrior II pose the same as a teacher in the U.S. I guess I see it as just one more thing that connects us as human beings.

Another great thing about the place I moved is the people I've met. There are two girls from England (Sarah and Veira), and the head of the compound is a young guy from England (Tom). Then there's an Irish girl (Vanessa), a German girl (Anna), and two Danish girls (which I haven't met yet). I went to Arua Falls with some of them on Sunday. It's soooo nice to have people to do stuff with and who are going through similar things that I am. Also, the whole having a whole in the ground for a toilet isn't that bad. It stays fairly clean because it does flush and I'm a natural pro at popping-a-squat thanks to the times I went hunting with my Dad and brother when I was little. Who knew that would ever come in handy? lol

The rest of my field trip to Kitgum was good...and interesting. First, it's kind of eerie to be driving and walking around in a place that has a bunch of signs up that read "Beware of where you step! Landmines!" or "Don't step on any foreign objects." I meant to take a picture of one of the signs. I guess I'll just have to when we go back in July. Also a bit eerie, we visited former President Tito Okello's old family home since he was from Kitgum. It's abandoned now, besides for a young kid, his cat, and some goats. The kid doesn't own the house...he's just a wanderer who set-up shop in a perfectly good house. The person that showed us the house explained that there's a mass grave behind the backyard...however, I'm not quite sure why... I should probably ask someone about that...

Anyway, everything went fairly smooth until the end of the trip. We interviewed about 5 survivors and we were talking to the chairperson of the survivor's group when we were getting ready to leave... I can't go into too much detail with what happened due to confidentiality and not knowing who could read this, but political interests are definitely interfering with what could be an amazing report and documentation project for the survivors. It's really disheartening to see these survivors so hopeful of change and that they think this leader of their's can really help, but his political agenda is really getting in the way of truly helping them. I mean, yes, I think he is maybe helping to some extent, but not the best he could. He will sit there and say, "I have no political agenda," but then say, "Constructing a memorial is in my political manifesto." He'll also say, "Nothing should be left unsaid, even if it says something about the government," but then he'll say, "Don't forget, I am a part of the government." Sounds a bit like conflict of interest, eh? My favorite thing he said probably has to be, "I'm part of the government...but you shouldn't fear me or the government." The mere fact that he said that was to make us scared and the context in which he said it felt a bit like an indirect threat. It's all silliness and politics though. At least I'm getting this experience. And thanks to my classes, I'm not surprised by any of this nor concerned about it. It's also extremely interesting, and educational, to see how my co-workers who are locals deal with him and this situations. It's completely different than how I would deal with it and how I wanted to react. lol Toward the end of the meeting he became rude and was directly insulting one of my co-workers. The way I wanted to respond was...well, American. lol But there's a certain way of dealing with things here which usually consists of tip-toeing around what you really want to say and the subject that actually needs to be discussed. Anyway, we're attempting to appease this person while still working for the survivor's. If we don't appease him in some way then he'll pull the plug on the entire gig and we won't be able to help at all. I find this extremely hard to sit with because they're their own people and it's their own experiences, why should one person make the decision whether they can talk to us or not. It's dictatorship; maybe he will fit into politics just fine.
Sorry for the venting... Like I said, I'm happy I'm getting this experience and I definitely welcome the educational value of it. I know responding with my American instincts would have probably not only ended the project, but got us kicked out of the town so I'm definitely not saying I have a better approach or solution. I'm hoping I'll learn how to deal with difficult people like this in this context for future situations which will inevitably present themselves, I'm sure. I'll leave with you some pictures from Kitgum and Arua Falls. Miss you all! Xoxoxo!

 Drive to Kitgum from Gulu

 Former President Tito Okello's home

 A peak inside the abandoned house

 The mass grave of the massacre that happened in Namokora

Only 2 of the 4(!) chickens we had in the back of the car on the way home. When we left we had 7 people and 4 chickens stuffed in the Land Rover on the way home... lol

 Storm <3

 Beautiful Arua Falls (about 40ish min. away from Gulu)

Ch-ch-ch-changesss..

Hey out there. I've been a bit negligent of my blog. My apologies. I know all of you are endlessly hitting the refresh button hoping that I'll have posted an update. ;0) It's not really that I've had no time to blog, but more that I didn't want to relive certain adjustments I've had to make. lol If you guys are on facebook you've seen my posts about no running water, mice, lizards, mosquitoes, etc...all in my house...no, all in my room. lol ...not that funny when I'm living through it though. Seriously though, look at these bites...and it's only two!

I'm not completely miserable...I haven't cried yet..that's saying something. lol I lived with a mouse in my apartment in Tucson for a year, so it's not that foreign to me. It's just a lot of adjustments all at once. After a lot of thought and contemplation I have made a decision to change my living situation. David, Moses and Rita have been great and hospitable, but I have come to the conclusion that I just need my own space. Not too much of a surprise for me. There's a reason why I only had roommates for 2 years in college (and I was extremely lucky to get a best friend out of that situation!). In this scenario though, since I'm adjusting to so much, I really want the comfort of my own space. I just don't feel comfortable moving around someone's house freely. Also, I'd really like to make some of my own food and I'm sure that Rita would have no problem letting me use the kitchen...but it's just my own thing...I don't like to intrude. Also, I've felt pretty darn isolated. It's hard to meet people where I'm at.
So after looking a little bit, I think I found a solution! On Saturday I'm moving into a place where I'll have my own bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, living room, porch, water cooler (!), fan, 24 hour guard, etc. It's also less expensive than what I'm paying now. It's on a compound where mostly expats live which I think will really help with meeting people. A lot of them are backpacking or doing internships too. Also, it's still a bit far from town, but I think I'm gonna try to buy a bike. I don't really like depending on the boda's and it's a decent hike to get anywhere. Plus, I really think a bike would be a good outlet for me and it'll be nice to exercise! There is one downside about the place I'm moving into...of course. lol I'll be forced to pee in a hole in the ground. There's a latrine at least, but no bowl or seat. So it's basically a shiny hole in the ground. My options were renting just a bedroom with a Western bathroom (regular toilet) and then using the communal kitchen, living room, etc. Or the place I chose. I just want to have a little more space and again, even in a communal kitchen, I don't like to intrude so I think having my own will be good. The shower head (there's a shower!!!) is over the latrine...so I think I can keep it fairly clean...lol Also, since so many expats are in and out of this place if I'm miserable I can probably just switch if one with a Western bathroom becomes available. So this is my reasoning. Hopefully it'll all work out. I'll keep ya posted.
Work has been keeping me busy. I'm actually in the field right now. We traveled to Kitgum (about 2ish hours north of Gulu) yesterday. We're trying to mobilize some survivors of a couple massacres that took place at the hand's of the government soldiers during the LRA conflict. It's never been documented...let alone been acknowledged or admitted by the government. They have a mass grave site for god's sake! What more proof do you need? There's survivors with bullet scars...I mean, there's no denying evidence like that. Anyway, we're doing our initial field visit at the moment and will be coming back in July sometime to interview all the survivors and relatives of victims. The atrocities these people, and so many others, have witnessed is awful. I really hope that the documentation of it provides some relief, even if minuscule. Hopefully they'll be able to use them as advocacy tools as well.
On a different note, there was no running water in my house for a couple days. I was looking forward to coming to Kitgum just to get a shower! lol When we arrived we found a self-contained hotel with running water. Yay! After a long, hot, and dirty day in the field I came back to find the running water gone...vanished. I did the best I could bathing from a basin...sigh. Later in the night I heard my toilet start running and was immediately excited! Running water! I had my first regular shower today since I've been in Uganda...it was still cold water, but it was a shower! It was glorious.
Well, I'm going to get ready for bed. We have another long day tomorrow and we have to drive back. Let me tell you, driving here is muchhh more tiring than in the U.S. because the road conditions are so bad. I woke this morning and felt like I had aged a hundred years. All the bumps, pot holes, ditches in the road really affect you...not to mention the constant swerving to avoid on coming cars, crossing goats, chickens, roosters, cows, etc. lol So for now, I'll leave you with a picture of a very serious sign posted in my hotel room. Really, think of the innocent children! ;0) Nighty night

Transitional Justice Consultation with Civil Society

What a long, but truly amazing day. I learned so much! Today we met with about 50 survivors of the war to discuss a transitional justice policy that will hopefully eventually be passed into law. We taught the policy to the people and then discussed what they thought about it and what needs to be changed. The whole point of this process is to make the policy more "victim-centered," or as I rather call it, "survivor-centered." I'm still organizing my thoughts about everything I learned and observed today. Instead of describing it all, I will post some of my pictures from the day. There's also a few at the end that were on my walk home from JRP.